


Motif

by Hunting In The East Lands (easternCriminal)



Series: Reprise Verse [4]
Category: Hamilton - Miranda, In the Heights - Miranda
Genre: Drabble, F/M, Ficlet, Gen, Reincarnation fic, rambley
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-16
Updated: 2016-06-16
Packaged: 2018-07-15 11:04:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 739
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7219849
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/easternCriminal/pseuds/Hunting%20In%20The%20East%20Lands
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Benny has had nightmares his entire life, but they seem a fair trade off for how much he lovees his life.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Motif

**Author's Note:**

> Again, something rambley for this verse! I might consider doing something solid for these sometimes, but for now you'll have to live with these *shrugs*

It takes Benny until he’s fifteen to realize that it’s actually an oddity to wake up every night around 1:00 from nightmares. That what he had thought people meant when they said they tended to get a late night snack - it made sense to him that some people would prefer to have something to eat after jerked into consciousness in a cold sweat. He wasn’t really sure why he had them in the first place, only that they had been a constant throughout his life. 

Of course, like all dream cliches that are, typically, true, he couldn’t never remember the actual details of the dreams. Around the same time he found out not everyone had them, he started to try and keep a dream journal, determining that if he found out what they were about, he could possibly stop them and sleep through an entire night without waking up. 

Naturally, it never worked. By the time he could get his shaky hand to hold a pencil and open the notebook and last impressions of the dream had dissipated. For a while he even tried just writing ‘I don’t remember my dream’ for while. Someone said it was supposed to help your brain realize that you wanted to remember your dreams and it would eventually comply. He did it for about a month with no results and gave up.

A small part of him considered the concept that his brain knew that whatever the nightmares were, in reality, they weren’t something he would want to remember.

Since the moment he met Usnavi they were best friends. They did practically everything together, and by the time they graduated from High School they knew each other better than anyone. Of course, he knew that Usnavi had his eyes on Vanessa since he had first caught sight of her too long ago to know exactly when. 

Being Usnavi’s best friend, his companion, essentially being each other’s right hand man… it felt almost like an honor. Like usually Usnavi should be detached, unwilling to get close to Benny, like there should some rule, some regulation, some code that prevents them from being friends. A silly way to put it, but none the less the best way to describe how it felt.

Despite the night terrors, Benny was never morose. No, he felt lucky to be alive. Like this life carried more freedom in it than he could ever imagine. It was hard to explain, but nothing delighted him quite as much as the notion that of course he wanted to succeed in life, there was no one forcing him to, shoving leadership down his throat. He had no grand audience to play to - he could do anything. It left him feeling energized and ready to take on the world.

Time passes, and Nina leaves for college. He never realized that she had started to fill a gap in his life until she left, and by then her absence left a hole in him. So when she came back for the summer, he knew he wanted to be around her. The blackout happens, and they find each other in the darkness. The chaos of everything churning around him causes his head to burn, a massive headache, but he pushes it away as soon as he feels her in his arms and know that she is safe.

It’s dark and no one can see and they could do anything they want. But instead the climb to the top of a fire escape, and she tried to teach him spanish while they watch the fireworks and the lights from candles and flashlights below them, as if the fireworks were causing the stars to fall from the sky and land on earth below them. 

There’s something peaceful about that moment. Time seemed to stop and allow him to hold Nina in his arms for a decade in a matter of hours. It’s not quiet, but it feels more calming than anything else. The sun starts to rise, tinging the sky soft pinks and oranges. That moment feels like everything he’s ever wanted. He is sitting under his own vine and fig tree. He accidentally mutters the phrase under his breath, and Nina looks at him with a puzzled expression, asking him where he got such that from. He merely shrugged and said it must be from something he’s read before.

He feels at home in this nation.

**Author's Note:**

> Again, thank you for reading! I hope you enjoyed this! Feel free to tell me your own head canons for this verse in the comments!


End file.
